copy-paste from 2006

my reply to a fellow blogger (& to those who replied to her). she wrote about her thoughts on whether to go abroad, or stay in the Philippines..

we are all unique. what works for some (e.g. living simply, living abroad, putting a religious spin on everything) will not necessarily work for others. let's respect one another's individuality and review what we post to make sure we're not (or we don't seem to be) passing quick and uncalled-for judgments.

all we can do is try our best. and of course, this is not enough. but if we know that we already did our part (the discerning, the planning, the preparing), then we can just let go of the worries and let God take care of the rest (the challenges, the opportunities to serve Him, etc). feel what's in the heart. if you feel the need to experience something different, then go. if there's a sense of something that needs to be taken care of in the Philippines, then stay. the next step would be to just make a choice and present it to Him. go where you are most moved to love. ;)

some excess thoughts...

you have to recognize your strengths and weaknesses, and live life maximizing your strengths and talents. then if things still don't work, just continue moving on. keep the faith that it's better to have gone out to try the unknown than to be stuck in your comfort zone. and believe that there's a good reason for whatever turns out in the end. =)

just had to post this here to serve as a good reminder, that even if there are different details involved, all of the above still apply in this current year of 2020.

a Bible Verse a day keeps the bad vibes away...

to answer migeys' bible verse challenge, here's a copy-paste from my facebook posts back in 2011. i've included the people who liked and/or commented just so i have them for easy reference (because they actually became part of one of my prayer lists).

04/15

ngiti lang ng ngiti =) [Let love of the brethren continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it. - Hebrews 13:1-2]

khris, meriniza (2)

04/14

spring cleaning [A clean heart create for me, God; renew in me a steadfast spirit. Do not drive me from Your presence, nor take from me your Holy Spirit - Psalm 51: 12-13]

04/13

ring, ring.. [Lord Almighty, God of Israel, afflicted souls and dismayed spirits call to you. Hear, O Lord, for you are a God of mercy - Baruch 3:1-2]

04/12

it's not about 'winning' or 'losing' [One may toil and struggle and drive, and fall short all the more. Another goes his way a weakling and a failure, with little strength and great misery - Yet the eyes of the Lord look favorably upon him; He raises him free of the vile dust - Sirach 11:11-12]

04/11

respeto. [Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. - 1 Timothy 5:1-2]

04/10

i want to be able to say this in the end -> [I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith - 2 Timothy 4:7]

khris, naty, bato, francis (4)

Nathalie Ang SUPER LIKE!!!!!!!!!!

Hazel Alcantara-Pasicolan Yeba!

Jill Patricia De Guzman ‎=D

Francis Cubacub amen

04/09

open my ears.. help me to hear.. [If you are willing to listen, you will learn - Sirach 6:33]

khris (1)

04/08

open the eyes of my heart, i want to see... ♫ ["What do you want Me to do for you?" They said to Him, "Lord, we want our eyes to be opened." - Matthew 20:32-33]

crystal, clemetine, jiggy (3)

04/07

what's in you? [I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective, through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you. - Philemon 1:6]

kat (1)

04/06

may magandang patutunguhan ang lahat. [the testing of your faith produces endurance.. let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. - James 1:3-4]

jucyn, khris, meriniza (3)

04/05

let it out. loud & clear. even if it doesn't make sense. haha, labo. [He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. - Hebrews 5:7]

jobeth, khris (2)

Khris Nuenay Hahahaha ntawa ako sa 'loud and clear' tas 'doesn't make sense' ... Clear ba un? Hahaha :) pero gets gets :)

Jill Patricia De Guzman haha, e kaya nga "It's like i'm doing the worst i can to make you understand" =p

04/04

kailangan magpakatotoo. [Some friends bring ruin on us, but a true friend is more loyal than a brother. - Proverbs 18:24]

hannah, monai (2)

04/03

it is not optional. [Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9]

hannah (1)

04/02

simply because. [We love, because He first loved us. - 1 John 4:19]

04/01

kahit napapagod, hindi magsasawa =) [Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You. - Psalm 25:21]

naty, michi, khris (3)

03/31

we all need somebody to lean on ♫ [Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2]

khris (1)

03/30

pa hinga naman dyan.. [Are not the days of my life few? Let me alone, that I may recover a little - Job 10:20]

03/29

kinailangan din Niya ng kaibigan... [He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me." - Matthew 26:38]
naty, hannah, kuya dong (3) 

03/28
if i can't do it, He will. [Who is there like you, the God who removes guilt and pardons sin for the remnant of his inheritance - Micah 7:18]
jo-ann, hannah, cj, sari (4)

03/27
sabi ni PNoy, hanggang saan ang pagiging "man for others" mo? gaano kalayo ang "down from the hill?" mali ang balewalain ang kapwa. ibukas ang puso. wag magpatumpik-tumpik na magbigay ng "one big fight!" [let us run with endurance the race that is set before us - Hebrews 12:1]

03/26
i still get amazed. who would've thought i'd learn how to snowboard, for instance? ;) [I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13]
joel t, paul morales, iva (3) 

03/25

heart. not for anyone else. not even for me. [Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men - Colossians 3:23-24]
kaye bantigue (1) 

03/24
‎=D [The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent - Exodus 14:14]
ate leni, ivy angeles, khris, kat (4) 

Katherine Rubiales Valencia Thank you Lord kasi I'm very quiet like Jill :D

Jill Patricia De Guzman hehehe.. buti na lang ano? pwede ko rin awayin para sayo, asan na?! ay teka. baka "ipaglaban" pala ang mas magandang term. haha.. =p

03/23
did you pay your taxes yet? hehe [repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God - Matthew 22:21]
ich, hannah (2) 

03/22
we do need one another [As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man. - Proverbs 27:17]
khris (1)

03/21
i have to be kind to me too [Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other - Ephesians 4:32]
ivy angeles, kat, khris, monai (4)

03/20
-

03/19

we have it in us to thrive [God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control - 2 Timothy 1:7]

03/18

let's work with (and make the most of) each of our present 'unpleasant' conditions [Promote the welfare of the city to which I have exiled you; pray for it to the Lord, for upon its welfare depends your own. - Jeremiah 29:7-9]

03/17

i won't worry my life away, says mraz [if even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? - Luke 12:26]

karen, masy, pat (3) 

03/16

thank you for sharing these past two days with me =D [How good it is, how pleasant, where the people dwell as one! - psalm 133:1]

monai, hannah, pat (3)

03/15

a happy thought for a happy day =) [Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine - Isaiah 43:1]

ivy angeles, cj, quay, ate leni, ayie, bato, karen, erica (8)

03/14 [mon]

it's so easy to get distracted and lose sight of the right path [Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the Lord - Lamentations 3:40]
jo-ann, khris (2)

03/13
take care... [many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will mislead many - Matthew 24:5]
carme, ivy angeles, ich, hannah, bing, pat (6)

03/12
the answers will come accordingly [Wait yet a little and I will instruct you - Job 36:2]
bing (1)

03/11
just keep praying [I am the LORD, the God of all mankind! Is anything impossible to me? - Jeremiah 32:27]
ate leni, erica basilio, cygnet, jiggy, ate tess (5)

03/10
lunch time for the soul too [But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the spirit is alive because of righteousness. - Romans 8:10]
khris, michi (2)

03/09 [wed]
a Bible Verse a day keeps the bad vibes away... [live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility & gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love - Ephesians 4:1-2]
hannah, erica basilio, jo-ann, nico, jhamm bondoc, ich, liezl schoenleber, dong (8)

b.o.o.k.s.

current top 10 (books with lasting impressions on me)
in no particular order:

♦ morrie: in his own words [morrie schwartz] - life lessons

♦ tuesdays with morrie [mitch albom] - life lessons

♦ veronika decides to die [paulo coelho] - freedom from what other people think; having nothing to lose = doing whatever you want

♦ the unbearable lightness of being [milan kundera] - existentialism; relationships

♦ the chosen [chaim potok] - friendship; role of silence

♦ the gift [danielle steel] - "some people just come through our lives to bring.. a gift.. and then they leave."

♦ angels & demons [dan brown] - made me re-think my definition of good & evil

♦ harry potter series [j.k. rowling] - very good story telling

♦ the hunger games trilogy [suzanne collins] - fighting for who you are, who you love, & making the world a better place

♦ nancy drew mystery stories [carolyn keene] - took too many hours of my childhood to not include. =p

common themes: mystery; humor; philosophy

tagged by: jp del rosario, lara yturriaga
tagging: anyone else who'd like to share..

the switch

it's disconcerting to switch.
from caring too much, to not caring at all. 
from being attentive, to not paying attention to anything at all. 
from giving my everything, to giving nothing at all. 

but the switch happened. i'm not mulling over it. i'm just stating that it happened. maybe i should think more about this, but nah. not now. i do want to clarify (for myself in the future): this refers to my life in general. a lot of aspects were affected by the switch. maybe i'll address them one by one someday.

things. stuff. gaps.

it's a bit frustrating to have to keep myself from seeking distractions (from my restlessness). in the recent past, i usually turn to TV, games, browsing, mindless chats. to pass the time. till i get motivated again to do more relevant stuff. these 'wala lang' activities are not really bad for me, especially since i don't think i go overboard with the time i allot for them. i still do other stuff, and i feel like i'm pretty okay with my balancing act. but for lent, i'm trying to be more empty. to see if there are better ways of filling the acidic gaps within me. i've been resting a lot. but sometimes, i also get tired of resting, if you know what i mean. i wanna be productive.

there are also 'several things' that i don't want to dwell on about my current (physical, emotional, mental) state. i guess this adds up to my frustration. when i'm not busy, these 'things' try to creep into my head and mess me up. i don't want stuff to blow up in my face, so i have to keep myself aware of the facts, and the other considerations related to these 'things.' but i don't want to over think as well, so i'm keeping my thoughts about these 'things' at a relatively safe distance.

woosah! =)

dream away

i am sorely tempted to daydream about having a job that would send me somewhere far once in a while. each time, for 3 months or more. far can mean anywhere from 40 to 4000 miles away from my current home. actually, i think i prefer the 4000 miles (or maybe 2800, so it would land me somewhere on the other end of this country, like new york). just to get a different perspective. learn new things. about the places, but more importantly, about me. i don't think i'd get as lonely as i did back in 2002-2003, since there are now so many ways of getting in touch with my loved ones. 

i think i've been in the same place for too long (8 years). and i'm not used to it. it's only half of my pampanga time, but i don't even remember my first several years there, so the difference shouldn't amount to much.

i'll probably end up just traveling to wherever for a weekend getaway. that solo flight from last month felt great. if given the opportunity, this year, i'd like to go to 3 places i've never been. no need to be far off destinations. but they do need to present a different experience for me. gotta save though. especially since i plan to do at least one solo trip again.

game ka na ba?

again, this has been in my scattered notes for a while now. i think i typed it in my blackberry, one (muni muni) night. =p i'm just clearing out some stuff, so here goes this bit:

I don't think I've ever been a good gambler. Most of the time, I'm cautious, so no guts = no glory. I just get content with taking advantage of whatever easy opportunities that come my way. But actually, sometimes, I do an 'all in' strike, just because I feel like it. And one can never tell beforehand whether or not I get the big bucks. Coz there's no strategy in my game. I just play, and I keep on it till I exhaust myself. 

Just some games I played:
Super mario brothers (of course)
Donkey kong
Snake
Brickbreaker
Sudoku
Gauntlet
Duke nukem
Pipe something
Bomber man
Twin bee
Race something (the one where superman shows up when you reach a certain point without crashing into anything)
Contra
Alchemist (yahoo game)

so. am i ready to play some more? hmm.

me and others

"take away all of that, what do YOU want?"

that was casey's question to me, almost seven years ago. i still don't know how to answer it.

why do i tend to consider everything and everyone around me before deciding on what I supposedly want? hmm.

time and again, i've also been told that i am actually better off if i care less about others. does it mean that i go too far with my being a 'woman for others?' do i forget to include my preferences in MY life?

hmm. enough for now. not really in a thinking mood. this just spilled over from the recent bits that just popped up from wherever. as a friend advised last night, i'm letting go and letting God figure it out for me.

minsang muni muni

I don't want to be that fleeting moment of your time. I like it when we take it slow, just enjoying what is. No pressure, no drama, no setting up of THE perfect activity that we're supposed to have. No worries. Thank you, life. Coz you're letting me appreciate the best of you. =)

Let's break it down a bit:
* fleeting moments - i say no thanks to superficial hello's, and never mind the devouring of all the available information being pushed so blatantly on us

* what is - i am limited, and you are limited <= that's okay => instead of stressing out on the unattained fancies and desires, i am giving my attention to the quality goods => those that serve me, to become a joyful child of God; i'd rather savor the gifts of the present, than to always ask more and more from each experience

As one of my favorite songs would remind me:
There is no future. There is no past.
There's only this. No day but today.
My only joy is just to be.

i don't know

i guess i just want to post some reminders here, on how life went on after i faced a few unknowns.

* 2nd year high school, 1st day: my name was not in the class listing, so i had to go to the principal's office and be assigned a section, based on my grades. i lied - gave an average grade - so they put me in an average section. i only knew one person - the rest were strangers. but that year turned out to be one of the best years of my life. f.r.i.e.n.d.s. and more.

* college: enrolled in a school far away from home, where i didn't know anybody - no high school mates, no relatives. same with my living situation - everything was new to me - the environment, roommates, commute. i wasn't scared. in fact, i liked the feeling of easing into this part of my life. i loved learning, exploring, and just taking it all in.

i have other stories that i can share, but i'll end the list here for now, since i'm still always sick, and shouldn't spend too much time with whatever. i also have a sink full of dishes waiting for me downstairs.

but the point of this post is to keep me from getting frustrated with the current question marks in my life. i'm still okay. not stressed, nor depressed. i've actually been good. even with two months of sickness. even if work might get to be a bit busier than i'd like it to be. i'm actually hopeful that i will have my share of great days in the near future.

Theme for 2011: DRIVE

I've driven myself in becoming involved with so many different things last year. I'm very thankful that I had the energy to do so. =)

It all started with naty & michi's 2-week visit. I didn't think I'd be able to pull that off - just like college (or even up to a few years after), I went out & about, slept late, talked nonstop, and just fully enjoyed being with friends. We also started TSC (theshoecompany), and this kept me happily busy after they left. 

Then came CLP season. I joined the team mainly to support mia and dong. There were a few extra challenges (like being asked to replace a speaker), but I gave my all for it, and was glad to be part of that clp. I also had the opportunity to have sole fish dinners with judith (and other sfc friends). 

Right after clp, I got a short weekend visit from asha. Not a moment was wasted - I even got to spend time with her at the airport, just talking. Again, just like with naty and michi, it felt just like it did when we were hanging out in college.

I also bought a disney annual pass at last, because I thought I would have more out-of-town visitors. But actually, I ended up going again and again with just my sisters. It was still okay. Twas a good form of exercise. We even saw courtney cox one time - made me smile so wide. Hehe

Things started getting busier for me at work around may, since lynn, my 'partner-in-crime' of 4 years, was due to leave for her east coast move by july. Till now, I'm still loaded with so much. The transition period is tough, but I haven't cracked yet. I had to train 3 different replacements (including june, who helped me out for a few months), while training myself with the tasks I inherited from lynn. I'm thankful to say that I'm still taking it all in, making the most out of the new things I'm learning, and of course, enjoying the pay raise.

By the way, it wasn't all tasks that I got from lynn. I got to buy her car too! =D so yeah, this is where I am able to use DRIVE in its literal sense. =p I'm really taking it to heart - to be the best driver I can be. I even took papa's traffic school course just so I can properly study 'the rules of the game,' hehe.

I just love how I was able to do so much during the past year. I was even able to shop and shop and shop for the things I need AND want. I also prayed often that the 2010 major sickness would not come back, and thankfully, it didn't.

Come october, I joined two half marathons, which I already detailed out in the previous entry. Then, snowboarding came to the picture again. I'm actually heading back to the mountains tonight for another fun weekend.

Whew!!! I got to finish this post at last! There really was a lot that drove me into becoming the busy girl that I am right now. And I've still got a lot of plans for this year. I even started filling up a calendar and corkboard beside my bed to keep my lists in sight.

Did you notice how often I said 'thankful' in this entry? I'm not yet done. I'm so thankful, that I keep repeating it. Very thankful. Extremely thankful. Always thankful. Thankful, thankful, thankful. =) Looking forward to having more reasons to be thankful in 2012 and beyond!

walker's high

it's been a long, long while since i've written a detailed bit, so here goes. i'll be doing this with lots of pictures. they're not great, but i just wanted to have some kind of markers in my story. ;)

there are a number of reasons why doing my first half marathon was quite a different experience for me.

nope, running for chocolate is not one of them, haha..

first of all, i did it alone - which i actually preferred, because i wanted to run/walk at my own pace - no trying to catch up or having to wait for someone. secondly, i downgraded myself from joining the full marathon (for charity) in 2006 and 2007, so i didn't feel threatened by the 13.1 miles. but lo and behold, there were a few extra challenges thrown my way - i was sick for more than a week before the marathon, and i got my period two days before the event! yikes! but yeah, i couldn't pass up the opportunity for this long-awaited "adventure," even if i felt the works of my dysmenorrhea till the night before. i really really really wanted to do this "solo" marathon. crazy.

so. october 09, 2011. long beach, california. =) my siblings and some friends were doing the bike marathon, so i didn't go there by my lonesome self. and i heard that there were still a few gawad kalinga runners this year, so i went ahead and used my old shirt so i could support them in my own little way. 

go GK! 

while waiting near the starting line, the announcers talked about this and that, welcomed back the loyal ("grampa-type") runners, and just kept the excitement flowing in the crowd. suddenly they called this lady beside me to come up to them and say hello. turned out that she's yolanda holder - current guinness world record holder for having run the most number of marathons in a year (106 in 2010)! haha, such a nice bit to add to my story. no picture, even if i could have asked her easily. too early in the morning for me. or i was probably too shy, as usual. hehe. 

but june told me, i should take pictures of the mile markers coz they've got art in them. well, that i did.

 @ 6:23:16am, i started walking the first mile
with nina's song simula. ;)

eto na, oras na

para magsimula..

today's the day, i'll start my way, the only way..

ang sarap magsimula kung masarap ang simula.. 

the sun greeted me on my way to the 2nd mile marker. i can still smell the cool air surrounding me, refreshing me, and keeping me company while i stared at everything around me. and this went on for the next few miles. lots to see!

oh, by the way, the regular start of the marathon is at 7am. i joined the early walkers, coz a walker is what i am. ;) i caught sight of the runners behind me before reaching mile 5.

then the elite runners started passing me by, 

blocking my shot of mile 5 hehe.

still, i walked and took pictures like i was only there for the sights =p

i wasn't the only one taking pictures
(brightroom - official photographer of the event) 

cheerers were awake by this time

this was where the 4-mile stretch by the beach started. i loved it!

just a place we went to for swimming a few months ago 

as i posted on facebook:
sand + sea + skies + people = ahhh.. =)

there's supposed to be a "wall" around mile 10. but how could i feel tired when i was surrounded by my fellow runners, including "grandma" below, just pushing through? besides, there were too many cheerers who wouldn't let me walk - i had to run whenever they shout words of encouragement. =)

when i got to the split, i thought of those two times when i went on to complete the full marathon. i wasn't scared then (i don't know why hehe), so yeah, i was still feeling proud of myself even as i continued in my course ever so slowly, but surely. ;)

refreshing blue skies..

my siblings finished their bike marathon in about two hours. they went to meet me during my last two miles. some of the pictures below were taken by them..

last mile!! 

still having fun!

and just like that, i finished. =D it's always interesting to see the stats afterward. the marathon's website got cool graphs and stuff, and i also tracked my workout using the endomondo app on my phone. it just sucks (for the OC in me) that i forgot to stop the app right after i passed the finish line. but yeah, my official time is 03:31:03. ;)

pee break on mile 6 slowed me down =p

such a nice play in the numbers: 6:23:16 am start time, 03:31:03 total time, and 10001 overall place. ;)

somewhere in between, i munched on half a banana, some pretzels, and chips from volunteers and spectators. i missed out on the m&m's (coz my hands were full with other goodies) and donut holes (coz they were on the other side of the road from me). but right after we took the picture below, we went to a bbq place for lunch, so everything was good as far as my stomach was concerned. =)

this entry is way too delayed. but i still got the high. i actually walked around the neighborhood this morning (only for 20 minutes - better than nothing). planning to do it regularly. =D

i also joined another half marathon two weeks ago - LA's rock n' roll one. i was only supposed to go to the expo the day before the run, so i can meet hannah over there and buy some PR bars. but the thought of running/walking stuck with me that whole day, so when i found a way to get into the event, i went ahead and grabbed it. =p

we bought 5 boxes, and got an extra big one for free ;)

costume c/o hannah

dressed up as emily WEBster (my reg 'sponsor'),
aka SPIDERwoman =p treat or treat!! 

i just had to add this: i was chatting with a friend the other day, and i told her that i hope my passion/interest for running doesn't go away. i was confused by her reply - 

hehehe, quite a CHANGE from usual answers like "you just have to nurture your passion" or something. but yeah, she's right. we should trust that there will ALWAYS be something good in the changes in our lives. we shouldn't force things to always be the way they were before - particularly those things that we can't really control. so for now, i'll enjoy every moment of my current high. i shouldn't ask for it to be with me forever, but i should look forward to always having various kinds of HIGHS in my life. ;)

late night musings

[from a few weeks ago]

I'm blessed to feel that I've been living a full life. In my own unique and 'silent' way. It may not be ideal. I know there are times that I could've done, and should be doing more. But really, whenever I look back, I am content. No regrets. Everything fell into place, and even if there are disappointments, I know that I am where God wants me to be, and He's always with me.

I am still a work in progress, I know. That's why I'm still willing to give my all, as always. There's still so much that I can do. But yeah, I just want to acknowledge that I've been doing my best. Even if sometimes my best isn't good enough. Anyhow, no worries. =)

isang linggong pag ibig [toink]

i've always felt that i'm most productive at work on tuesdays.

and i've noticed that i have a lot of blog/journal entries on thursdays.

mondays are a given - i'm sluggish and would rather stay in bed all day. although recently, i find myself busy spending my nights with SD and TSC tasks.

on saturdays and/or sundays, i do make time for lots of sleep and/or being a couch potato. i'd like to be more active though.

it would be real nice if i could spend my wednesdays for the things i like - books, music, nature - to name a few.

keeping fridays open for unplanned activities should give me just the right amount of the unknown to keep my week out of a rut.

falling deep into...

the unbearable lightness of being [milan kundera]

"Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves."

* hmm, is this why i'm always bothered by dizzy/vertigo spells??? *

"The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life's most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?"

* weight. ano pa nga ba? but sometimes, we're not given a choice. we just have to deal with what is. *

"...there is nothing heavier than compassion. Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels with someone, for someone, a pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echoes."

* ouch. *

"But when the strong were too weak to hurt the weak, the weak had to be strong enough to leave."

* huh. in weakness, there's strength. o diba.*

"There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning..."

* and live we should. *

"The goals we pursue are always veiled... The thing that gives our every move its meaning is always totally unknown to us."

"...it is questions with no answers that set the limits of human possibilities, describe the boundaries of human existence."

* okay. *

 read the book during 1st year college. i miss reading. but i still can't seem to get back to my favorite hobby. busy busy days.

bit by excruciating bit

grip falls away
[straitjacket feeling]

what happens next?
[dare you to move]

i can't see at all
[thank you]

only a thought
[life for rent]

i'll give up everything just to find You
[taking over you]

bid my blood to run, before i come undone
[bring me to life]

step up. i can't not be what i am.
[nobody's fool]

sometimes i get so weird, i even freak myself out
[anything but ordinary]

gotta keep moving on. take a risk. take a chance. make a change.
[breakaway]

hope still lingers on
[the world i know]

thankful bit

- thankful for my clothes, comforter, pillows, and everything else that's keeping me warm nowadays =) -

- thankful for always feeling God's loving embrace whenever I need/want one -

‎- thankful for the promise of a happy vacation with some gorgeous people =D -

- thankful for being part of a great celebration of love between two good friends, kat & joel =D very happy for them! =D -

- thankful for sleep ;) -

‎‎- thankful for the hospitality and generosity of all those who've adopted me into their homes, dorms, apartments, cars, etc. [juliana, marisol, novaliches, laguna, sunrise, LA, van nuys, tarzana, winnetka => to name a few!] -

‎- thankful for conversations with friends & family who simply take the time to be with me, whether it be to talk about the 'everyday rustics' or to indulge in deep, philosophical ramblings ;) -

- thankful for the music (the songs i'm singing...) =] -

- thankful for the tasks of life that keeps me productive and useful -

- thankful for my relatively good health this week (heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me) -

- thankful for lumpiang shanghai / shrimp roll ;) -

- thankful for princess alison hook, my beloved companion of more than 5 years. we have our ups & downs, but no scratching nor biting can keep us apart ;) -

- thankful that, even as i am forced to 'level-up' with the challenges i face, i can still claim that there are indeed better days ahead =) -

- thankful for email, networking sites, cell phones, and computers for keeping me connected -

‎- thankful for smiles -

[...posted in facebook...]

other bits

forgot to mention it here..

i created another blog so i can post some bits that i've learned here and there:

notablebits.blogspot.com

;)

looking back

this 'golden moment' picture struck me so much, it made me think of my own great moments...

from www.postcardsfrommanila.com

it's not that i'd like to live in my past, but once in a while, i just want to enjoy the memories... to keep me from losing hope. to overcome bouts of loneliness. to be assured that my life is indeed well-lived. =) feel free to comment on our shared memories... ;)

* santa maria * san fernando * old site * flat tops * books * honors * siblings * mcdo * toll house * charlie charlie * senyang's * orchid's * service * pinatubo * funtime * baking * new site * intrams * open forums * telebabad * code names * letters/notes * group studies * chips ahoy * nepo * jeepney rides * movie dates * babies * miching & the rest * world youth day *

* orsem * texts * kenny rogers * victory * five star * UP * edsa / quezon ave * choco banana * rides * national bookstore * xavierville * jogging * cuts-turned-to-gimiks * chapel * manang's * US * laptop * debut * manila * loyola heights * tapa king * dunkin * ken afford * kfc * red ribbon * jollibee * kamirori * martha's kitchen * mang jimmy's * starbucks * ggppl trips * philosophy * miss saigon * uaap * higad park * atsca room * choir/caroling * overnights * edsa dos * evsems/retreats *

* pasig * eastwood * robinson's choice * sqatterz * ot * sportsfest * yebah * mrt * badminton * fitness first * harry potter * mister donut * megamall * galleria * shakey's * in n out * makati * overnighters * auntie anne's * cinnabon * fazoli's * tokyo tokyo * simbang gabi * gesu * coffee * meteor garden * quezon * tagaytay * antipolo * puerto galera * astoria * despedida * desires *

* family * westwood * beach * snow * catering * moves [granada hills, west hills, sylmar] * aliza * sfc * hook * las vegas * karaoke * household * tennis/bball * perfect love * knotts * blood * crossroads * f.r.i.e.n.d.s. * campings [lakes, stars, hikes, scenic views] * blackout * universal * visits * bus * burbank * seattle * gk run * san francisco * san diego * monterey bay * los angeles * sun valley * texas * sd * gym * gary v * seaworld * lacc-ccna * fire * facebook * arizona * ucla-seo *

i will probably get back to this post and update it accordingly. for now, this is it. =]