i've been feeling really unwell lately. i haven't been posting coz i don't know what to make of what's been happening to me. everything is so confusing.
yes, things happen for a reason. but knowing this doesn't change the fact that i feel messed up. i'm currently unemployed, but i'm not putting my heart into the jobhunt - whether it be for a job here or for singapore. we even have a financial situation, but it doesn't really push me to move. what a reliable daughter and sister huh. but i just keep blanking out. not all the time, but enough for me to think i'm not doing the best i can. i still smile. i still watch the movies. eat happily. sleep soundly. but there are times that i just drop things. like when i sleep for twelve hours, coz i feel like there's nothing to wake up for. gimik invites don't get me too excited. i also get bored with all the stuff that i said i wanted/needed to give time for. so it leaves me with living life one day at a time, but with no concrete purpose and motivation. i know it's just for right now. and i actually need to decide on things real soon already. but here i am, l-o-s-t.
all shall be well. but right now, it isn't.
