looking back

this 'golden moment' picture struck me so much, it made me think of my own great moments...

from www.postcardsfrommanila.com

it's not that i'd like to live in my past, but once in a while, i just want to enjoy the memories... to keep me from losing hope. to overcome bouts of loneliness. to be assured that my life is indeed well-lived. =) feel free to comment on our shared memories... ;)

* santa maria * san fernando * old site * flat tops * books * honors * siblings * mcdo * toll house * charlie charlie * senyang's * orchid's * service * pinatubo * funtime * baking * new site * intrams * open forums * telebabad * code names * letters/notes * group studies * chips ahoy * nepo * jeepney rides * movie dates * babies * miching & the rest * world youth day *

* orsem * texts * kenny rogers * victory * five star * UP * edsa / quezon ave * choco banana * rides * national bookstore * xavierville * jogging * cuts-turned-to-gimiks * chapel * manang's * US * laptop * debut * manila * loyola heights * tapa king * dunkin * ken afford * kfc * red ribbon * jollibee * kamirori * martha's kitchen * mang jimmy's * starbucks * ggppl trips * philosophy * miss saigon * uaap * higad park * atsca room * choir/caroling * overnights * edsa dos * evsems/retreats *

* pasig * eastwood * robinson's choice * sqatterz * ot * sportsfest * yebah * mrt * badminton * fitness first * harry potter * mister donut * megamall * galleria * shakey's * in n out * makati * overnighters * auntie anne's * cinnabon * fazoli's * tokyo tokyo * simbang gabi * gesu * coffee * meteor garden * quezon * tagaytay * antipolo * puerto galera * astoria * despedida * desires *

* family * westwood * beach * snow * catering * moves [granada hills, west hills, sylmar] * aliza * sfc * hook * las vegas * karaoke * household * tennis/bball * perfect love * knotts * blood * crossroads * f.r.i.e.n.d.s. * campings [lakes, stars, hikes, scenic views] * blackout * universal * visits * bus * burbank * seattle * gk run * san francisco * san diego * monterey bay * los angeles * sun valley * texas * sd * gym * gary v * seaworld * lacc-ccna * fire * facebook * arizona * ucla-seo *

i will probably get back to this post and update it accordingly. for now, this is it. =]

give and take

yup.

"i can only do so much" - but i'd still want to give [life] my best shot.

"i can't have everything" - but i'll surely take what i can get.

better to refocus when the going gets tough. and smile at the wonders of the world. =)

* an aching back is good when it reminds me of my productivity [gym + a bit of cleaning]
* lack of sleep is fine when it means i spent quality time with loved ones
* too much sleep is also okay since i got to rest
* not being with friends on special occasions may hurt right now, but i do believe they're gonna miss me much anyway, and i'll still feel the love. hehe..
* and so on, and so forth...

quick bit

just couldn't resist posting -

"love has its way of expressing itself despite the silence"

- from the ever silent me.

the need for energizers

why do i need them? hmm. i just want to get on with bits and pieces that i've been neglecting. started on stuff last saturday:
- gym [treadmill, swim & jacuzzi = all done!]
- studies [using the internet for entrepreneurial marketing
= up to date!]
- movie watching [done!]
- sinus writing [need more effort!]
- room sorting [throwing out of excess baggage = ongoing...]
- closet reorg [replace summer clothes w/ winter ones
= to be done soon!]
- blood donation [maybe in a month]
- more to be added as i move along...

so how can i keep on going.. and going.. and going...?
- lists [crossing out completed tasks makes me feel accomplished]
- coffee [starbucks really does it for me!]
- music [will be buying a cassette player so i can play my old tapes ;)]
- daily readings [my favorite hobby of all time]
- nature trippings [hopefully i have a lot of saved up memories from the summer - sea world, lakes, camps, canyons - to last me for several weeks/months =D]

idadaan na lang sa kanta

me:
i’ve still been searching
and long have i waited
for someone to like me as me...
to laugh with, to cry with, to be just beside with,
a friend, that’s who i need
- a friend [keno]

Jesus:
when you’re down, and troubled,
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, oh nothing is going right,
close your eyes and think of Me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights...
- you've got a friend [james taylor]


today marks another year gone by. five years now since i left the philippines. my current feelings are totally unrelated to this, but i just had to mention the milestone.

caving in

tired.

the early june 'everything-came-with-it' sickness ruined my momentum. i need something to pick me up. don't know what. too many distracting thoughts and happenings. some of them good, but tiring all the same.

i won't list down these 'happenings' right now. no energy. i didn't even get to see transformers 2 as soon as it came out. i don't even feel too excited for harry potter 6 coz i can't watch it the way i want to.

i just want to retreat back into my cave now.

unconditional

Last year, I was asked to write a sharing for today's reading for the In His Steps Journal:

APRIL 10, FRIDAY [JOHN 18:1 - 19:42]

For me, it's not hard to feel emotional when I read the Bible. In reflecting on Jesus' story of His passion and death, I feel the overwhelming power of His unconditional love for us. It never seizes to amaze me how He could suffer all that He'd been through for us. To add insult to injury, He also had to be betrayed and denied by His friends during His low moments. That must have been so hard for Him.

Just like in Jesus' case, I have experienced, and still experience being hurt by the people I love - my friends as well as my family. May it be due to pettiness, insensitivities, or clashing mood swings, it feels really bad when these 'dramas' happen. It makes me wonder why I have to feel so much pain from them.

But I learned, and am constantly being reminded, that these hurtful things are there so that I can have the opportunity to feel what Jesus felt - to get to the point where I can express my unconditional love for my friends and family.

I do hope I can keep on trying to love like Jesus. When faced with the different 'dramas' in my life, all I really want to do is turn to Him and find the strength to follow His great example of unconditional love.

***
it's hard to accept harsh realities. no matter. life (and love) goes on. i thank God for that.

..seek the unknown, then can we go home?

i like traveling. i like looking out the window and just staring into the spaces around me. even if i get motion sickness easily. hehe..

but if you ask me for just one place on where i would go if i could go anywhere in the world, i actually don't have an answer. i'd like to go everywhere! hehehe..

if you give me a bunch to choose from, i may give you a ranking of those in my priority/wish list. and this ranking will depend on my current disposition in life.

i'm not very particular with the places i want to visit. as long as i'm with loved ones (or even acquaintances/strangers whose interests are similar with mine), i'm set to have a good time. ;)

right now, IF & WHEN given the opportunity, i'm thinking of visiting the following places:
- more of the philippines
- more of the US
- singapore - friends - if they're still there..
- australia - koala! hehe..
- several places in europe (rome, italy, spain, etc)
- china - great wall
- japan - canon! =p
- ireland - ps i love you movie scenery; st patrick! haha..
- israel - bethlehem, golgotha

i won't be devastated if i don't get to see these places. i'm alright with simple living and all. but i don't want to disregard them as foolish dreams. no sense in living without a little bit of dreaming (the impossible dreams)... ;)

"..seek the unknown, then can we go home?"
- titanic tip & daring dash, adventurers slash explorers =D

time for everything

i just told khris yesterday that we can't be expected to keep all the friends we've made throughout our lives. ouch diba. well, i've both become a forgotten friend and a forgetting friend at the same time. that's life.

i'm not really in 'drama' mode right now, but i just stumbled on a quote that made me realize how far i've come from my old undecisive self:

"choosing one path means abandoning others - if you try to follow every possible path you will end up following none."
- brida of paulo coelho -

now that i'm tackling things here and there, i don't care so much anymore about thinking long and hard before acting on the trivial stuff. i'm letting things unfold, just being me.

one at a time

i decided to post whatever nonsense i can think of quickly, just so i can get rid of the 'icky love stuff' on top of my page hehe.. i actually posted parts of this entry last week, but it got posted BELOW the love stuff! haha... anyway...

i hope i don't run out of energy - or whatever is driving me to move about these days.. i'm trying to keep up with everything - work tasks, home stuff, changes, moods, weather, etc. i'm focusing on the benefits of being challenged like this, instead of getting disheartened and becoming non-productive.

i hope i don't run out of money too! ;) i wanna save up.

mushic

everybody needs a little time away
-hard to say i'm sorry-

BUT

i still want you by my side
-first cut is the deepest-

AND

don't you ever think that i don't love you
-anything for you-

COZ

i'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
-i'd rather-


just playing around with lyrics, hehehe... bored while listening to random music. =p

go where you are most moved to love

i was browsing my 2005 posts awhile ago for no particular reason and stumbled on the quote "go where you are most moved to love." i searched for it in google, because until now i can't remember where i got the quote. it's probably from college, but i wanted to know who the author is.

i was surprised and amused to find that the top result for the quote.... was written by me! hahaha.. such a laughable treat! nope, it wasn't my 2005 post here - my blog didn't even show up in the results (due to its inactive state?). it's actually my comment on a friend's controversial blog entry entitled Should I Stay or Should I Go:


Time: April 6, 2006, 5:52 am

just a few points:
we are all unique. what works for some (e.g. living simply, living abroad, putting a religious spin on everything) will not necessarily work for others. let’s respect one another’s individuality and review what we post to make sure we’re not (or we don’t seem to be) passing quick and uncalled-for judgments.

to address the blog entry:
all we can do is try our best. and of course, this is not enough. but if we know that we already did our part (the discerning, the planning, the preparing), then we can just let go of the worries and let God take care of the rest (the challenges, the opportunities to serve Him, the things we need to iron out, etc). kerol i believe you’ve done your job on this already. feel what’s in the heart. if you feel the need to experience something different, then go. if there’s a sense of something that needs to be taken care of in the Philippines, then stay. just make a choice and present it to Him. go where you are most moved to love. ;)

some excess thoughts…
we have to recognize our strengths and weaknesses, and live life maximizing our strengths and talents. then if things still don’t work, just continue moving on. keep the faith that it’s better to have gone out to try the unknown than to be stuck in the comfort zone. and believe that there’s a good reason for whatever turns out in the end. =)

dinibdib ko na, kasi as you know, i also have a similar question in my mind right now..

funny how you search for something, and discover an entirely different thing in the process.. ;)

easy does it

during the past few days, i felt the need to take it easy for the coming year. i don't even want to review the past year coz it's gonna take some effort to do so. but here i am in the first week of 2009, wondering how i can fit everything i want (and need) to do for the next weeks. so what the heck, right? i'm gonna have to keep telling myself (again) to JUST DO IT! till i run out of energy.. this is all good training anyway. i just have to remind myself to be careful also, and add REST and SILENT MOMENTS to my schedule.

i'm being challenged. and i don't want to back down..

i feel a smile from somewhere out there. so i want to shine the brightest SMILE i can muster so i can share it out there!

=)