it's a bit frustrating to have to keep myself from seeking distractions (from my restlessness). in the recent past, i usually turn to TV, games, browsing, mindless chats. to pass the time. till i get motivated again to do more relevant stuff. these 'wala lang' activities are not really bad for me, especially since i don't think i go overboard with the time i allot for them. i still do other stuff, and i feel like i'm pretty okay with my balancing act. but for lent, i'm trying to be more empty. to see if there are better ways of filling the acidic gaps within me. i've been resting a lot. but sometimes, i also get tired of resting, if you know what i mean. i wanna be productive.
there are also 'several things' that i don't want to dwell on about my current (physical, emotional, mental) state. i guess this adds up to my frustration. when i'm not busy, these 'things' try to creep into my head and mess me up. i don't want stuff to blow up in my face, so i have to keep myself aware of the facts, and the other considerations related to these 'things.' but i don't want to over think as well, so i'm keeping my thoughts about these 'things' at a relatively safe distance.
woosah! =)
Friday, March 22, 2013
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
dream away
i am sorely tempted to daydream about having a job that would send me somewhere far once in a while. each time, for 3 months or more. far can mean anywhere from 40 to 4000 miles away from my current home. actually, i think i prefer the 4000 miles (or maybe 2800, so it would land me somewhere on the other end of this country, like new york). just to get a different perspective. learn new things. about the places, but more importantly, about me. i don't think i'd get as lonely as i did back in 2002-2003, since there are now so many ways of getting in touch with my loved ones.
i think i've been in the same place for too long (8 years). and i'm not used to it. it's only half of my pampanga time, but i don't even remember my first several years there, so the difference shouldn't amount to much.
i'll probably end up just traveling to wherever for a weekend getaway. that solo flight from last month felt great. if given the opportunity, this year, i'd like to go to 3 places i've never been. no need to be far off destinations. but they do need to present a different experience for me. gotta save though. especially since i plan to do at least one solo trip again.
i think i've been in the same place for too long (8 years). and i'm not used to it. it's only half of my pampanga time, but i don't even remember my first several years there, so the difference shouldn't amount to much.
i'll probably end up just traveling to wherever for a weekend getaway. that solo flight from last month felt great. if given the opportunity, this year, i'd like to go to 3 places i've never been. no need to be far off destinations. but they do need to present a different experience for me. gotta save though. especially since i plan to do at least one solo trip again.